My 22-month-old son died in the evening in hospital. I knew I wanted either to spend the night with him next to me in bed on the ward, or to take him home with us that evening and put him in the cold spare room at home. Medics were horrified at each, pointing out (perhaps correctly) that others on the ward would be horrified / that my husband / parents / 4-year-old son would be horrified.  One cannot be totally selfish in the presence of death; does not know one will feel ; cannot necessarily prepare.