My friend’s dad died when we were both 17 and her mum’s valentine friend organised an evening where her and her sister sat in a circle while all their friends sat around singing and playing music. I thought it was a bad idea as they were being forced to grieve but it was in fact beautiful, we all cried until we were empty and then we laughed and shared stories and hot chocolate. I would love to be able to do that when I am grieving but don’t want to force people to support me like that in such a naked sharing of emotion.