My Grandpa died in a car accident, hit a lamp post after having a heart attack. My Mum drives past the dented lamp post on her way to work and holds this over my head that I don’t have to because I live 200 miles away in London. I think a lot of my grief has been shaped by being so far from my family after he died. My family made me feel guilty for not coming home sooner, or staying longer, but I had essays and a practical exam – I felt I couldn’t leave. I felt so alone. I was living alone – it was, and still is, so hard to process all of it, because I internalised the loneliness.