Both my parents died in quick succession at the end of 2017. I realised I had no idea what to do as it is not discussed and neither of them had a funeral plan. All I knew was that my mother wanted to be cremated. My relationship with both of them was strained and my father was a nasty man. But people still reacted as if I should be in deep grief. In fact I felt genuine grief for my cat who died this year. The vicar did actually ask if I wanted him to say that my father was an arsehole – some do apparently! I declined so he was euphemistic.