So far you have not mentioned the loss of abortion. I spent 44 years accusing myself of murdering my child. The 1st year I had nightmares every night mostly about drowning. Then last year I went to ‘Rachel’s Vineyard’ and received such healing. The date of the abortion was 6th November 1973. I sat in the 4 bedded ward ALONE! With fireworks going off. It was the night before. There was a large window on my right. Until ‘Rachel’s Vineyard’ fireworks and windows on the right of the bed took me straight back there. I went on the retreat in November last year. In the current run up to Bonfire night seeing the fireworks for sale and hearing some go off I feel none of the anxiety I felt for the previous 44 years. I named my baby Liberty because I am now free.