My dad died suddenly in an accident – my children were involved in his funeral without ever having experienced a ‘smaller’ death. Then my mum died 18 months later and my children had to deal with another funeral – this time a full blown formal catholic service. I was very worried about the impact of the whole thing. I left my mum’s service feeling shattered and walked through rows and rows of gravestones hand in hand with my nine year old son. He looked around and said brightly, “now I understand what all these people have died from – boredom!!” I really laughed, for the first time in a long time. Since then I went to a talk on death at the Hay-on-Wye literature festival and they mentioned ‘post traumatic GROWTH’. That’s how it has been for us – whilst I wouldn’t have chosen our experiences, we have come out stronger, and deeper and more solid on the other side.