I helped to organise the funeral for a 14-year-old boy who died of an accidental drug overdose. ┬áHis favourite food was Cheerios cereal. We had big bowls of Cheerios at his graveside and all the guests sprinkled them over his coffin along with or instead of earth. ┬áThen we let off huge fireworks. Before that we arranged for his body to be brought home and he lay tucked up in his bed for a couple of days. His mother said it helped her so much to have time to say goodbye – his death had been so sudden.

When my father died this year in a care home, I asked if his body could stay in his bed until the next morning. The home managers reacted very badly and said No, they had never been asked such a thing. They were completely shocked. I did, however, manage to get time for my friends to join me in singing him “over the threshold”.